


for all the earth and heaven know that i'm in love with you

by hyunghoney



Series: love endlessly. [1]
Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Canon-Compliant, Falling In Love, Fluff, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, written in 2 hours at 4am fueled by lack of sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-03
Packaged: 2019-02-27 14:42:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13250376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunghoney/pseuds/hyunghoney
Summary: Hyungwon never falls in love with Changkyun.(He doesn't need to fall.)





	for all the earth and heaven know that i'm in love with you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chaekkung](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaekkung/gifts).



Hyungwon never falls in love with Changkyun.

Hyungwon tries not to hate the kid that stands a few steps behind K.Will, head lowered, unwilling to meet their eyes, scared to face their collective anger. Instead, he closes himself off and does a pretty good job of pretending I.M. had never arrived.

Hyungwon hears stories about Changkyun’s struggle like he’s only slightly listening to a news channel that was randomly left on next door. They say he’s a good rapper, but not as good as Jooheon. Jooheon says he cried after they had a talk. Gunhee says he’d like to hit the kid over the head with a spoon.

Hyungwon doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t care. It isn’t his problem.

While Hyungwon had hidden away, the youngest had done a pretty good job of getting the entire team to if not fall in love with him, then at least grudgingly accept his presence in their group. Hyungwon doesn’t know what it is, something about the kid’s bright energy, his apologetic politeness despite the lukewarm response to his arrival, how he tries so hard to not be an inconvenience, something about him won over their hearts. That something had no effect on Hyungwon. He tries not to think about the fragility of this little family they pretended to be, and focuses on his own future. By the time it gets to their last mission, Hyungwon may be the last person in the group that isn’t somewhat close to Changkyun. When he’s put on a team with Jooheon and Changkyun, he interacts with him properly for the first time. It isn’t as if they’ve never talked, or as if they’re complete strangers, but Hyungwon still finds himself relying on Jooheon to do most of the communication.

“Don’t worry hyung, he grows on you! You’ll fall in love with him soon enough.” Jooheon reassures him at the end of another awkward practise session. Hyungwon doesn’t hold his breath.

Hyungwon never falls in love with Changkyun. 

* * *

 

A month into their debut, Hyungwon’s nap is interrupted by the feeling of something hitting his shoulder. He looks around, annoyed, for the culprit. The other members are either using their phones or asleep as well, resting before the van arrived at the broadcasting station. His eyes drift slowly, still heavy with sleep, to the sight of their youngest asleep on his shoulders, unaware that he’d woken Hyungwon. All annoyance forgotten, a smile tugs at the corner of his lips at the precious sight and he makes himself sit perfectly still, keeping Changkyun peaceful.

Hyungwon finds that he can’t return to sleep. Whether it’s because of the unnatural position of his body or something else, Hyungwon doesn’t know. He instead focuses on the way Changkyun’s features are softened by sleep, eyes following the line of Changkyun’s nose and jaw, the softness of his lips, his eyes that are closed, revealing no hint of their usual energy, the faint music sounding from his earbuds. He’s perfectly angelic like this, head resting against Hyungwon, so that Hyungwon has to will his lips from planting a kiss on the top of the younger’s head.

A few minutes before they get to the station, the noise level in the van begins to pick up as the members begin to stir one by one. Once Minhyuk and Kihyun wake up, it descends into total chaos. Hyungwon steals a worried glance at Changkyun, but he doesn’t even twitch in response to the noise.

By the time they get to the station, Hyungwon’s shoulders have somehow gone numb. Changkyun wakes up slowly, blinking in that slow fashion of his, looking around like he isn’t used to his surroundings, and takes his own time sitting up. Hyungwon doesn’t even remember to mourn the loss of his rare sleeping time, he’s too busy watching as his hands move of their own accord to adjust Changkyun’s clothes and pat his hair. Changkyun gives him a soft smile before climbing out of the van. It takes Hyungwon a few moments to collect his thoughts enough to follow the group in leaving the van.

Hyungwon still doesn’t fall in love with Changkyun.

* * *

 

The older members find it easier to admit they’re whipped for Changkyun now that they’re not all at each other’s throats, fighting for the chance to debut, now that they’re all on the same side. Hyungwon doesn’t have to admit anything.

As of today, their All In promotions are finally over, and they have a whole week off. Hyungwon takes Changkyun out for food, like a good hyung. They go to a pricey restaurant just a few ways from their new dorm, and Hyungwon lets an excited Changkyun order the food. He winces slightly as he looks at the prices on the menu. The food hasn’t even arrived yet and already his wallet is feeling pretty feather-light. He forgets his reluctance once Changkyun turns back to face him, a smile brightening his face, and he does _not_ lose his breath.

Hyungwon doesn’t ever say grace before eating, so when their meal arrives he watches Changkyun do it, before they both tuck in to the meal. The conversation goes from this to that easily, and Hyungwon hasn’t been this relaxed since promotions began. The time passes quickly, slipping by without Hyungwon’s notice. They finish their meal and head home, and if Hyungwon casually throws his arm around Changkyun’s shoulders, well, it is as natural to him as breathing.

He still hasn’t fallen in love with Changkyun.

* * *

 

Monsta X is a loud and confusing group. When they have vlives, each member can’t say one sentence without interruption. During fansigns, at least two members are chasing each other around the venue at any time. In the dorm, there’s always at least one member yelling, about food or video games or something else. Hyungwon loves it, belonging in this group that he’d worked so hard to be a part of, receiving love from people that he might never even meet, he loves their practise sessions and movie nights, just every part of being part of them.

Still, he’s introverted by nature, so sometimes he does get overwhelmed by the constant activity of the group. Changkyun, when he isn’t screaming after seagulls or trying and failing to hit Kihyun’s high notes, is peace. There’s a quiet side to Changkyun that Hyungwon loves. He finds solace in Changkyun’s quiet aura, occupies himself with touching Changkyun gently when he’s tired of bullying Kihyun with Minhyuk.

Some things become second nature to Hyungwon – touching the back of Changkyun’s neck, whispering jokes into Changkyun’s ear, resting his hands on Changkyun’s shoulders, staring after Changkyun as he crosses the dorm in his pajamas in the morning, worrying about Changkyun, dreaming of Changkyun at night when there’s no Changkyun to be with so his mind conjures one for him to think of anyway.

* * *

 

When they have their first kiss, there is no excitement or elation, but relief – like the universe had known this moment would happen, and had been waiting all along and now the wait was over. They stare at each other for a moment, eyes wide.

The elation comes later, when Changkyun stretches up and kisses him again, and Hyungwon closes his eyes and all he can think of is Changkyun. They decide they won’t keep it from the members, but perhaps the members knew even before they did.

* * *

 

Changkyun is beautiful, Hyungwon thinks, as his boyfriend lies on the couch in his pajamas, his head in Hyungwon’s lap. The leftovers from their lunch litter the table, but Hyungwon can’t bring himself to push Changkyun off so he can clean it up. Besides, Hyungwon is tired out from the vlive broadcast and would be perfectly content to just sit in silence for a few hours with his boyfriend until it’s time to leave for dance practise.

In the end, Changkyun is the one who gets up. He nags at Hyungwon playfully as he picks up the rubbish, and Hyungwon joins him in cleaning, unable to resist him. After the table is clear, Changkyun leaves to change out of his pajamas. He doesn’t have to look back to know Hyungwon’s following him.

* * *

 

When the Christmas show is over and all the fans have left, Hyungwon visits Changkyun in his hotel room and they hug for more than 10 seconds. This warmth is what Hyungwon treasures, more than any passionate kiss, and he closes his eyes, smiling contentedly.

Changkyun doesn’t ask Hyungwon why he hugged him for so long in front of so many people. The answer is clear as day to both of them, they didn’t need a second confession of love. Changkyun stands on the tip of his toes to peck Hyungwon on the cheek. Hyungwon leans down to meet him.

* * *

 

Hyungwon never falls in love with Changkyun.

He thinks, rather, that he’s loved Changkyun his whole life, and simply took some time to realise. In every fibre of his being, he knows that he loves Changkyun, knows it as surely as his own name, like you could ask him to introduce himself and he’d say,

 _“My name is Hyungwon, and I have_ always _loved Changkyun.”_

**Author's Note:**

> Woah look, it's my first work for the fandom! Anyway I wrote this fic at 4am and finished it at 6am so I'm really sorry if it makes no sense. I don't know what this is so I'm very sorry. Thanks for reading, please leave comments / kudos <3 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @sakurachae or twitter @hyunghonie!


End file.
